


On the Subject of Human Love Making

by Rukazaya



Series: [Durarara!!] Non-Shizaya drabbles and one shots [11]
Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Gen, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-13
Updated: 2013-06-13
Packaged: 2017-12-14 21:46:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/841730
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rukazaya/pseuds/Rukazaya
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They both love humans. They were meant to be!</p>
            </blockquote>





	On the Subject of Human Love Making

****  
Title: 365 Days Drabble/Sketch Challenge #27 On the Subject of Human Love Making  
 **Fandom:** Durarara  
 **Rating:**  PG13  
 **Pairing:**  Izaya x Saika  
 **Prompt:** drrrkink meme. In a method of your choosing, Izaya ends up as Saika’s new ‘host’. At first, he’s beyond freaked out by this and desperate to be rid of her, but after some time he starts warming up to the sword, and the two of them decide to love humans together. Bonus points if Izaya and Saika regularly argue over how to properly love “their” humans and Izaya purposely talks to her when people are around just to troll them.

<http://drrrkink.livejournal.com/5278.html?thread=18506654#t18506654>

———————————————————————————————————

_“Penetrate, penetrate, penetrate, penetrate, penetrate, penetrate, penetrate, penetrate, penetrate, penetrate, penetrate, penetrate, penetrate, penetrate, penetrate, penetrate, penetrate, penetrate, penetrate, penetrate, penetrate, penetrate, penetrate, penetrate, penetrate, penetrate, penetrate, penetrate, penetrate, penetrate, penetrate, penetrate, penetrate, penetrate, penetrate, penetrate, penetrate, penetrate, penetrate, penetrate”_

 

“No, you zero-brain-cell inorganic object from hell. I’m telling you, to love humans properly, you must make them suffer and from the depths of pain will they finally evolve into masterpiece.”

_“Pierce, pierce,  pierce,  pierce,  pierce,  pierce,  pierce,  pierce,  pierce,  pierce,  pierce, pierce,  pierce,  pierce,  pierce,  pierce,  pierce,  pierce,  pierce,  pierce,  pierce,  pierce, pierce,  pierce,  pierce,  pierce,  pierce,  pierce,  pierce,  pierce,  pierce,  pierce,  pierce, pierce,  pierce,  pierce,  pierce,  pierce,  pierce,  pierce,  pierce,  pierce,  pierce,  pierce, pierce,  pierce,  pierce,  pierce,  pierce,  pierce,  pierce,  pierce,  pierce,  pierce,  pierce, pierce,  pierce,  pierce,  pierce,”_

“Sigh, like I said. For a cursed object of thousand years, you sure lack experience in this matter. Penetrating and fucking humans is one way to love and I’m glad we both agree on the subject of ‘pain,’ but there’s more to it than waving your sword and sticking it in with the pointy end.”

_“Love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, Heiwajima Shizuo, Shizuo, Shizuo, Shizuo, Heiwajima Shizuo,”_

“Oh ew. Please. I don’t fuck monsters. Bestiality is illegal.”

As Orihara Izaya sat in the coffee shop with his chilled  _frappuccino,_ engaged in a long winded conversation that was borderline psychological battle of philosophies on the subject of love for humanity, the humans themselves who sat near the informant scooted away, giving a weird look at the man who appeared to be talking to himself out loud.

Most people knew that insanities weren’t contagious… but you never can be too careful.


End file.
